Some folks have a difficult time making friends with any one, they do not foster the gift of gab. The key to establishing and maintaining a meaningful relationship is knowing how to talk to people. Let me give you three simple rules that will assure you that you can have good communication. Number one, in the beginning don’t make the conversation all about you. You will turn people off when all you can talk about is you and all your experiences. Turn things around and begin to ask your potential new friend all about themselves. When they begin to share with you, demonstrate a genuine interest in what they are saying.
Number two, do not criticize people for what they will share with you, this demonstrates a lack of trust on your part. If you cannot be trusted with their feelings they will be reluctant to speak with you. Not everyone is as smart as you are so show them some grace. Number three, lecturing folks is not communication, it is a demonstration of judgement. If all you want to do is tell people what you think, you will turn them off and turn them away. Never be afraid to say “I don’t know”, it’s hard to trust people who know everything about everything.
Ephesians 4:29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Consider what you intend to speak. Will it add to that person or tear them down and put them ill at ease. There is a modern day proverb: It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let them think you’re stupid than open your mouth and erase all doubt. Often times when a person shares their personal issues, they are not hoping you will solve their problems, they just want to vent. There is a time and place where you need say nothing at all, just be a sounding board and let your friend get things off their chest. When it’s time to speak, consider your words, will they help or cause problems?
Colossians 3:8 But now put away and rid yourselves of all these things: anger, rage, bad feelings toward others, curses and slander, and foul mouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips.
Whether you have a bad attitude or a good attitude, it will have a notable influence on your conversation. There will be times in our lives where we are not fit to have an intimate conversation with anyone. This is not the time to withdraw, it is time to act and live like a child of God. Far too many folks use their insecure attitude to act like the devil! Being nice or being a jerk is a decision as a result of the new birth, we can be either one. I don’t like hanging around with foul mouthed people who have nothing good to say about anyone. I was once this person and I attracted others who acted just like I did.
Mathew 25:45 Whatever you do to these the least of My brethren, you do it unto Me.
However we treat people, we are treating Jesus the same way, they are created in His image.